Very often, people misunderstood what really coaching is. They come to a first session expecting the coaching on the topic and not on them. Coaches coach the person and not the topic.
In our society, we have been conditioned to believe that we create most value by solving problem and producing results. Solving problems and focusing on the outcome brings short term satisfaction and not transformative results. By coaching the person and not the topic, the coach stays present with the client and curious about what the client is discovering about himself.
Results are as much important as the journey. We want to be results oriented and sometimes the achievement comes without fulfillment, and we start to feel a deepen void and a lack of meaning that we want to fulfill suddenly. Results push us to move forward and challenge us, fulfillment brings us a sense of happiness and completion.
During a session the topic that the clients brings on the table is not that important; it is a door to discover the client and knows more about what he wants and who he is. If we focus only about the topic, we are missing an important part of the equation. There are two primary energies in life: ‘Being’ and ‘Doing’. The doing is more about the action, the power… The being is more related to the connection, the inner self. Dancing on this balance of both energies, big shifts and breakthroughs can happen.
Let me give you an example of a client who wants to change his job. Once all the action plan is set about the steps (resume, interviews…).. the most interesting part is to take this transition phase as an opportunity to learn, grow and transform. Like any transition, it is an opportunity for the person to reinvent himself, to realize what is the most important about his work, to reconnect with his true purpose and gain clarity about the meaning of his life. Searching a new job can be a tiring and overwhelming process. By coaching the person and not the topic, this process becomes an opportunity for the client to believe more fully in himself and stand up firmly to who he is and what he believes in.